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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Time
Laughter
Group
Groups
Committee
Minutes
Committees
Loses
Witty
Hours
Humorous
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Inspirational
Keeps
More quotes by Milton Berle
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
Milton Berle
Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?
Milton Berle
There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
Milton Berle
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Milton Berle
I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Milton Berle
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
Milton Berle
I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
Milton Berle
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Milton Berle
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Milton Berle
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
Milton Berle
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Milton Berle
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
Milton Berle
Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
Milton Berle
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
Milton Berle
