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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Inspirational
Keeps
Time
Laughter
Group
Groups
Committee
Minutes
Committees
Loses
Witty
Hours
Humorous
Funny
Meetings
More quotes by Milton Berle
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
Milton Berle
It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
Milton Berle
Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?
Milton Berle
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.
Milton Berle
I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Milton Berle
I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.
Milton Berle
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
Milton Berle
In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.
Milton Berle
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
Milton Berle
There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.
Milton Berle
My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year.
Milton Berle
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
Milton Berle
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
Milton Berle
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
Milton Berle
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
Milton Berle
War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.
Milton Berle
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
Milton Berle
I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Milton Berle
