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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Inspirational
Door
Knocking
Doesn
Build
Graduation
Change
Positive
Knock
Doors
Encouraging
Motivational
Senior
Powerful
Initiative
Success
Determination
Opportunity
Inspiring
Seekers

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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.
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My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
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I was in a department store and I saw a weird-looking gadget. I asked the young saleslady what it was. She answered, It doesn't do anything. It's just a Christmas gift.
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
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She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
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I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
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I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.
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Money can't buy you happiness. It just helps you look for it in more places.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
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Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.
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