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If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Milton Berle

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Milton Berle
Age: 93 †
Born: 1908
Born: July 12
Died: 2002
Died: March 27
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
New York City
New York
Change
Positive
Knock
Doors
Encouraging
Motivational
Senior
Powerful
Initiative
Success
Determination
Opportunity
Inspiring
Seekers
Inspirational
Door
Knocking
Doesn
Build
Graduation

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In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
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Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
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I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
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I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
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You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
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It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
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For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
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Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
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Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
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At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
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My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
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Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.
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For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
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They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
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