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I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Selfish
Speak
Made
Years
People

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.
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Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.
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I feel like people have more in common than the news reports.
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I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.
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I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.
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Art is socialism but life is capitalism.
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I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.
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I figured out in my thirties it was about 'what can I contribute'? And what I figured out about that is creating something from scratch, and connecting it to people.
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The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
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Some people come up to me and say You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia And I say Well, here in America, you're annoying...
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I think the reason why I'm so alluring to networks is because on the surface I'm like a quintessential relatable, boring white guy. A great many sitcoms have been anchored by a boring white guy, so I feel like what they want to mine from me are my more generic qualities.
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I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
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I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
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I just don't give off a great first impression.
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I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.
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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
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It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.
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I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.
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Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say You gotta dance! you gotta dance! And then I dance, and they're like, Not like that!
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I'm a compulsive everything.
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