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I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.
Mike Birbiglia
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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Friends
Funny
Family
Soul
Pussy
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More quotes by Mike Birbiglia
I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No... got any Snapple?'
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Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.
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The key is to do what you love.
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I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.
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When I made 'Sleepwalk with Me,' many people asked me if was a novelty thing, a one-off. But this is the goal, I'm just hitting it 12 years after I thought I would.
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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
Mike Birbiglia
Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.
Mike Birbiglia
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
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Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool because jazz is cool, but sometimes jazz sucks ... Maybe I'm the Kenny G of comedy.
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Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.
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I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.
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I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
Mike Birbiglia
I think spending a lot of time with my mom, who's a talker and a storyteller, and my dad, who has kind of a soft-spoken, understated sense of humor, I think that's how I became what I am, which is sort of an understated storyteller.
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I feel like people have more in common than the news reports.
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There are so many people who are clever. There are 8000 people at Princeton who are more clever than the three of us at this table. BUT, we have the ability to give something that they don't have...which is us.
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I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness.
Mike Birbiglia
Our fear leads us to say no all the time.
Mike Birbiglia
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
Mike Birbiglia
Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you.'
Mike Birbiglia
I couldn't recommend more that people put themselves in a situation where they can see a lot of work that they admire, and for free.
Mike Birbiglia