Quote

I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Days
Angeles
Funny
Loser
Stills
Sister
Still
Fixed
Going
Miles
Made
Six
Flier
Believe
Humor
Flown
Life
Wasn
Frequent

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you.'
Mike Birbiglia
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I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.
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How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
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The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
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I like 'Donnie Darko' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.
Mike Birbiglia
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...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
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I think our culture views success as visibility, being seen as being successful. Whereas I've learned that success is rooted in helping and connecting to other people, and knowing where you can contribute. I've kind of spent my thirties doing that, because in my twenties I was seeking any kind of success.
Mike Birbiglia
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I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
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I think spending a lot of time with my mom, who's a talker and a storyteller, and my dad, who has kind of a soft-spoken, understated sense of humor, I think that's how I became what I am, which is sort of an understated storyteller.
Mike Birbiglia
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Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.
Mike Birbiglia
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I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, Do you guys hate me?
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I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No... got any Snapple?'
Mike Birbiglia
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I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
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I struggled with that notion early in my career. 'I know this is funny but nobody is laughing.' This thought occurred for years.
Mike Birbiglia
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I just don't give off a great first impression.
Mike Birbiglia
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I take the subway four times a day, or close to it. I just love the subway! My grandfather worked as an electrician when they were digging the subway.
Mike Birbiglia
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Gillian [Jacobs] is brilliant, and it was Lena Dunham that recommended her. I didn't see her in the part, but Lena told me that Gillian can do anything. It turned out to be true.
Mike Birbiglia
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Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say You gotta dance! you gotta dance! And then I dance, and they're like, Not like that!
Mike Birbiglia
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Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream
Mike Birbiglia
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I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.
Mike Birbiglia