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I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, Do you guys hate me?
Mike Birbiglia
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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Humor
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Pot
Guy
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Hang
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Sentences
Ends
Smoke
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Guys
More quotes by Mike Birbiglia
Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.
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Art is socialism but life is capitalism.
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I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.
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Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream
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I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
Mike Birbiglia
I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you.'
Mike Birbiglia
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
Mike Birbiglia
When I made 'Sleepwalk with Me,' many people asked me if was a novelty thing, a one-off. But this is the goal, I'm just hitting it 12 years after I thought I would.
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Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.
Mike Birbiglia
Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you.
Mike Birbiglia
I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.
Mike Birbiglia
I'm a compulsive everything.
Mike Birbiglia
The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.
Mike Birbiglia
Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.
Mike Birbiglia
Life is unfair and improv is a great metaphor of that.
Mike Birbiglia
I think spending a lot of time with my mom, who's a talker and a storyteller, and my dad, who has kind of a soft-spoken, understated sense of humor, I think that's how I became what I am, which is sort of an understated storyteller.
Mike Birbiglia
It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.
Mike Birbiglia
I struggled with that notion early in my career. 'I know this is funny but nobody is laughing.' This thought occurred for years.
Mike Birbiglia