Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, Do you guys hate me?
Mike Birbiglia
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Hate
Sentences
Ends
Smoke
Around
Anymore
Every
Guys
Humor
Wants
Pot
Guy
Sentence
Funny
Hang
More quotes by Mike Birbiglia
I figured out in my thirties it was about 'what can I contribute'? And what I figured out about that is creating something from scratch, and connecting it to people.
Mike Birbiglia
There are so many people who are clever. There are 8000 people at Princeton who are more clever than the three of us at this table. BUT, we have the ability to give something that they don't have...which is us.
Mike Birbiglia
Art is socialism but life is capitalism.
Mike Birbiglia
Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you.'
Mike Birbiglia
Sometimes when my fans come up to me, they think it's going to be entertaining, like I'm going to tell jokes or do bits, and then instead of that I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they're kind of like, This is boring. I want to go talk to somebody else. I think I bore my fans to death by over-talking to them.
Mike Birbiglia
Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?
Mike Birbiglia
Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.
Mike Birbiglia
I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.
Mike Birbiglia
My problem with being in New York City is that you really can't make a living as a comedian. You can, but you have to also take writing jobs, which means less stage time.
Mike Birbiglia
I'm a compulsive everything.
Mike Birbiglia
In our culture right now, I want to take on this notion of what a singular success means. We think success is one thing, but it's actually a spectrum of where our life takes us.
Mike Birbiglia
Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.
Mike Birbiglia
Our fear leads us to say no all the time.
Mike Birbiglia
I think spending a lot of time with my mom, who's a talker and a storyteller, and my dad, who has kind of a soft-spoken, understated sense of humor, I think that's how I became what I am, which is sort of an understated storyteller.
Mike Birbiglia
How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
Mike Birbiglia
Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
Mike Birbiglia
I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!'
Mike Birbiglia
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
Mike Birbiglia
I like 'Donnie Darko' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.
Mike Birbiglia
I have this habit of asking 'why do you want to do it?' and then interrupting them to say, 'here's why you want to do it.' Because it's in the 'yes...and' spirit [rule of improvisation].
Mike Birbiglia
