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I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Women
Fine
Still
Causes
Make
Guy
Workplace
Would
Less
Recently
Men
Read
Marry
Think
Funny
Guys
Thinking
Didn
Cause
Stills
Humor

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I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.
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I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.
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I actually love 'Saturday Night Live,' like a sports fan watches their favorite team to see how they're doing. I know the players and the writers, I've known several people on that show for a number of years.
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I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.
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The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.
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Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.
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Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
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I'm a compulsive everything.
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There are so many people who are clever. There are 8000 people at Princeton who are more clever than the three of us at this table. BUT, we have the ability to give something that they don't have...which is us.
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I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
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Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.
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...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
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Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.
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Art is socialism but life is capitalism.
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Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.
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I couldn't recommend more that people put themselves in a situation where they can see a lot of work that they admire, and for free.
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I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
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I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
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