Quote

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

Mike Birbiglia

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Still
Causes
Make
Guy
Workplace
Would
Less
Recently
Men
Read
Marry
Think
Funny
Guys
Thinking
Didn
Cause
Stills
Humor
Women
Fine

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

Image
Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?
Mike Birbiglia
Image
Life is unfair and improv is a great metaphor of that.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
Elia Kazan. He wrote my favorite book about filmmaking, 'Elia Kazan: On Directing.' There is a thing in the book that I do every time, it's part of my production structure. He said when you're hiring an actor, ask them what draws them to the project, and don't lead them to the answer.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I like 'Donnie Darko' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I think spending a lot of time with my mom, who's a talker and a storyteller, and my dad, who has kind of a soft-spoken, understated sense of humor, I think that's how I became what I am, which is sort of an understated storyteller.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
What I write is emotionally honest and truthful as the human experience can be, to make people feel less alone, or at least that's the hope.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I just don't give off a great first impression.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream
Mike Birbiglia
Image
My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, Do you guys hate me?
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I think our culture views success as visibility, being seen as being successful. Whereas I've learned that success is rooted in helping and connecting to other people, and knowing where you can contribute. I've kind of spent my thirties doing that, because in my twenties I was seeking any kind of success.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I'm a compulsive everything.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!'
Mike Birbiglia
Image
...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
Fortunately, I don't talk about politics on stage.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
Mike Birbiglia