Quote

I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Time
Fans
Like
Year
Pastries
Funny
Calories
Bigs
Contain
Use
Effective
Seems
Size
Enough
Baby
Years
Humor

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.
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I'm a compulsive everything.
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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
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I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
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My problem with being in New York City is that you really can't make a living as a comedian. You can, but you have to also take writing jobs, which means less stage time.
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What I write is emotionally honest and truthful as the human experience can be, to make people feel less alone, or at least that's the hope.
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When I made 'Sleepwalk with Me,' many people asked me if was a novelty thing, a one-off. But this is the goal, I'm just hitting it 12 years after I thought I would.
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I couldn't recommend more that people put themselves in a situation where they can see a lot of work that they admire, and for free.
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You can express love by calling out the truth out of the situation as opposed to dancing around it.
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Our fear leads us to say no all the time.
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Art is socialism but life is capitalism.
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I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.
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I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.
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There are so many people who are clever. There are 8000 people at Princeton who are more clever than the three of us at this table. BUT, we have the ability to give something that they don't have...which is us.
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Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool because jazz is cool, but sometimes jazz sucks ... Maybe I'm the Kenny G of comedy.
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I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: whitebread. The other day, someone came up to me and said, What's up, whitebread? And I was like, That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!
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I feel like people have more in common than the news reports.
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A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'
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How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
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Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you.
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