Quote

I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.

Mike Birbiglia

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Years
Humor
Time
Fans
Like
Year
Pastries
Funny
Calories
Bigs
Contain
Use
Effective
Seems
Size
Enough
Baby

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

Image
I take the subway four times a day, or close to it. I just love the subway! My grandfather worked as an electrician when they were digging the subway.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I struggled with that notion early in my career. 'I know this is funny but nobody is laughing.' This thought occurred for years.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
Our fear leads us to say no all the time.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
My problem with being in New York City is that you really can't make a living as a comedian. You can, but you have to also take writing jobs, which means less stage time.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
Elia Kazan. He wrote my favorite book about filmmaking, 'Elia Kazan: On Directing.' There is a thing in the book that I do every time, it's part of my production structure. He said when you're hiring an actor, ask them what draws them to the project, and don't lead them to the answer.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I thought if I could do stand-up comedy well enough, I could parlay it back into films - like Charlie Chaplin and Woody Allen did. They merged principles of comedy and drama together, and that's what my first film really was, a stab at that kind of comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I have this habit of asking 'why do you want to do it?' and then interrupting them to say, 'here's why you want to do it.' Because it's in the 'yes...and' spirit [rule of improvisation].
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
I just don't give off a great first impression.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
Mike Birbiglia
Image
Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.
Mike Birbiglia