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I feel like people have more in common than the news reports.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Feel
Feels
Like
People
Reports
News
Common

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.
Mike Birbiglia
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My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.
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Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.
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I have this habit of asking 'why do you want to do it?' and then interrupting them to say, 'here's why you want to do it.' Because it's in the 'yes...and' spirit [rule of improvisation].
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I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
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I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.
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My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting, and then rewrite, rewrite and rewrite.
Mike Birbiglia
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I just don't give off a great first impression.
Mike Birbiglia
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I'm a compulsive everything.
Mike Birbiglia
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You can express love by calling out the truth out of the situation as opposed to dancing around it.
Mike Birbiglia
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Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.
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All techniques of comedy are valid and interesting to me.
Mike Birbiglia
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I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.
Mike Birbiglia
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I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.
Mike Birbiglia
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I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.
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You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.
Mike Birbiglia
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Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.
Mike Birbiglia
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Fortunately, I don't talk about politics on stage.
Mike Birbiglia
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Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say You gotta dance! you gotta dance! And then I dance, and they're like, Not like that!
Mike Birbiglia
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Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
Mike Birbiglia