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You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.
Mike Birbiglia
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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Religion
Sarcastic
Tell
Filmmaker
School
Comedian
Always
Atheist
Catholic
Went
Education
Atheists
Religious
Ironic
More quotes by Mike Birbiglia
I think the reason why I'm so alluring to networks is because on the surface I'm like a quintessential relatable, boring white guy. A great many sitcoms have been anchored by a boring white guy, so I feel like what they want to mine from me are my more generic qualities.
Mike Birbiglia
My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting, and then rewrite, rewrite and rewrite.
Mike Birbiglia
...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
Mike Birbiglia
Success is fleeting. It may not have to do with you but how your work is received.
Mike Birbiglia
Some people come up to me and say You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia And I say Well, here in America, you're annoying...
Mike Birbiglia
Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you.'
Mike Birbiglia
I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.
Mike Birbiglia
I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.
Mike Birbiglia
I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.
Mike Birbiglia
I think our culture views success as visibility, being seen as being successful. Whereas I've learned that success is rooted in helping and connecting to other people, and knowing where you can contribute. I've kind of spent my thirties doing that, because in my twenties I was seeking any kind of success.
Mike Birbiglia
I figured out in my thirties it was about 'what can I contribute'? And what I figured out about that is creating something from scratch, and connecting it to people.
Mike Birbiglia
Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say You gotta dance! you gotta dance! And then I dance, and they're like, Not like that!
Mike Birbiglia
I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.
Mike Birbiglia
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
Mike Birbiglia
I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, Do you guys hate me?
Mike Birbiglia
In our culture right now, I want to take on this notion of what a singular success means. We think success is one thing, but it's actually a spectrum of where our life takes us.
Mike Birbiglia
All techniques of comedy are valid and interesting to me.
Mike Birbiglia
Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.
Mike Birbiglia
There are so many people who are clever. There are 8000 people at Princeton who are more clever than the three of us at this table. BUT, we have the ability to give something that they don't have...which is us.
Mike Birbiglia
The people who are the worst at news, who kind of engage in what I call the World Wrestling of news, have kind of set the bar for where news is.
Mike Birbiglia
