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I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Fear
Feel
Feels
Rejection
Things
Divorce
Ultimate
Lead
Failure
Marriage

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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I think the reason why I'm so alluring to networks is because on the surface I'm like a quintessential relatable, boring white guy. A great many sitcoms have been anchored by a boring white guy, so I feel like what they want to mine from me are my more generic qualities.
Mike Birbiglia
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My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.
Mike Birbiglia
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Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.
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I thought if I could do stand-up comedy well enough, I could parlay it back into films - like Charlie Chaplin and Woody Allen did. They merged principles of comedy and drama together, and that's what my first film really was, a stab at that kind of comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
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How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
Mike Birbiglia
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The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.
Mike Birbiglia
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I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.
Mike Birbiglia
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I like 'Donnie Darko' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.
Mike Birbiglia
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Eugene Mirman is the Andy Warhol of comedy. People look to him for what's next in comedy, and he emails these people back promptly. The Will to Whatevs put me in a great mood because I was laughing out loud. Alone. That's hard to do.
Mike Birbiglia
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Art is socialism but life is capitalism.
Mike Birbiglia
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Fortunately, I don't talk about politics on stage.
Mike Birbiglia
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I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
Mike Birbiglia
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I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
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All techniques of comedy are valid and interesting to me.
Mike Birbiglia
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I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.
Mike Birbiglia
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Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
Mike Birbiglia
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Gillian [Jacobs] is brilliant, and it was Lena Dunham that recommended her. I didn't see her in the part, but Lena told me that Gillian can do anything. It turned out to be true.
Mike Birbiglia
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Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?
Mike Birbiglia
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I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, Do you guys hate me?
Mike Birbiglia
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I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.
Mike Birbiglia