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I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Girl
Used
Littles
Ever
Little
Every
Dated
Think
Unstable
Thinking
Mets

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.
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I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness.
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It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.
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Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.
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I think the reason why I'm so alluring to networks is because on the surface I'm like a quintessential relatable, boring white guy. A great many sitcoms have been anchored by a boring white guy, so I feel like what they want to mine from me are my more generic qualities.
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Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
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I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
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I thought if I could do stand-up comedy well enough, I could parlay it back into films - like Charlie Chaplin and Woody Allen did. They merged principles of comedy and drama together, and that's what my first film really was, a stab at that kind of comedy.
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Fortunately, I don't talk about politics on stage.
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...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
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A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'
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Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.
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The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
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Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
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So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.
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You can express love by calling out the truth out of the situation as opposed to dancing around it.
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Gillian [Jacobs] is brilliant, and it was Lena Dunham that recommended her. I didn't see her in the part, but Lena told me that Gillian can do anything. It turned out to be true.
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Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
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Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.
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I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.
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