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I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Girl
Used
Littles
Ever
Little
Every
Dated
Think
Unstable
Thinking
Mets

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I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.
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Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.
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I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No... got any Snapple?'
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You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.
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I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness.
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I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
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Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
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I like 'Donnie Darko' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.
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The key is to do what you love.
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It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.
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I just don't give off a great first impression.
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I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.
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I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!
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Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream
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I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.
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When I made 'Sleepwalk with Me,' many people asked me if was a novelty thing, a one-off. But this is the goal, I'm just hitting it 12 years after I thought I would.
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