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Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
Mike Birbiglia
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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Good
Pizza
Shirt
Shirts
Similar
Sex
More quotes by Mike Birbiglia
Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?
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I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.
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I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.
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There are so many people who are clever. There are 8000 people at Princeton who are more clever than the three of us at this table. BUT, we have the ability to give something that they don't have...which is us.
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You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.
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I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.
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I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
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Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say You gotta dance! you gotta dance! And then I dance, and they're like, Not like that!
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The key is to do what you love.
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I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, Do you guys hate me?
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Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.
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My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting, and then rewrite, rewrite and rewrite.
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I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.
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Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
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I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.
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I actually love 'Saturday Night Live,' like a sports fan watches their favorite team to see how they're doing. I know the players and the writers, I've known several people on that show for a number of years.
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All techniques of comedy are valid and interesting to me.
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Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.
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Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.
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How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
Mike Birbiglia
