Quote

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Marry
Family
Whole
Much
Would
Ploy
Love
Elaborate
Reception
Pizza

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.
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Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
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What I write is emotionally honest and truthful as the human experience can be, to make people feel less alone, or at least that's the hope.
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I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace. Which I think is fine, cause if we didn't make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.
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I think our culture views success as visibility, being seen as being successful. Whereas I've learned that success is rooted in helping and connecting to other people, and knowing where you can contribute. I've kind of spent my thirties doing that, because in my twenties I was seeking any kind of success.
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I take the subway four times a day, or close to it. I just love the subway! My grandfather worked as an electrician when they were digging the subway.
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Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool because jazz is cool, but sometimes jazz sucks ... Maybe I'm the Kenny G of comedy.
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How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
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Our fear leads us to say no all the time.
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I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!'
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I actually love 'Saturday Night Live,' like a sports fan watches their favorite team to see how they're doing. I know the players and the writers, I've known several people on that show for a number of years.
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I just don't give off a great first impression.
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I like 'Donnie Darko' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.
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The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
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I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
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Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say You gotta dance! you gotta dance! And then I dance, and they're like, Not like that!
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I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.
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I figured out in my thirties it was about 'what can I contribute'? And what I figured out about that is creating something from scratch, and connecting it to people.
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I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
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I thought if I could do stand-up comedy well enough, I could parlay it back into films - like Charlie Chaplin and Woody Allen did. They merged principles of comedy and drama together, and that's what my first film really was, a stab at that kind of comedy.
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