Quote

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Love
Elaborate
Reception
Pizza
Marry
Family
Whole
Much
Would
Ploy

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream
Mike Birbiglia
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I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!'
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What I write is emotionally honest and truthful as the human experience can be, to make people feel less alone, or at least that's the hope.
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There are so many people who are clever. There are 8000 people at Princeton who are more clever than the three of us at this table. BUT, we have the ability to give something that they don't have...which is us.
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Sometimes when my fans come up to me, they think it's going to be entertaining, like I'm going to tell jokes or do bits, and then instead of that I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they're kind of like, This is boring. I want to go talk to somebody else. I think I bore my fans to death by over-talking to them.
Mike Birbiglia
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The key is to do what you love.
Mike Birbiglia
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When I made 'Sleepwalk with Me,' many people asked me if was a novelty thing, a one-off. But this is the goal, I'm just hitting it 12 years after I thought I would.
Mike Birbiglia
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So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000.
Mike Birbiglia
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Life is unfair and improv is a great metaphor of that.
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Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
Mike Birbiglia
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The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
Mike Birbiglia
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I have this habit of asking 'why do you want to do it?' and then interrupting them to say, 'here's why you want to do it.' Because it's in the 'yes...and' spirit [rule of improvisation].
Mike Birbiglia
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Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you.
Mike Birbiglia
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Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
Mike Birbiglia
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How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.
Mike Birbiglia
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I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.
Mike Birbiglia
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Success is fleeting. It may not have to do with you but how your work is received.
Mike Birbiglia
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Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.
Mike Birbiglia
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Our fear leads us to say no all the time.
Mike Birbiglia
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Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.
Mike Birbiglia