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The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Mike Birbiglia

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Mike Birbiglia
Age: 46
Born: 1978
Born: June 20
Actor
Comedian
Executive Producer
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Food
Commercial
Keys
Eating
Healthy

More quotes by Mike Birbiglia

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I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.
Mike Birbiglia
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Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.
Mike Birbiglia
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The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
Mike Birbiglia
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Elia Kazan. He wrote my favorite book about filmmaking, 'Elia Kazan: On Directing.' There is a thing in the book that I do every time, it's part of my production structure. He said when you're hiring an actor, ask them what draws them to the project, and don't lead them to the answer.
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I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.
Mike Birbiglia
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Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz. That's kinda cool because jazz is cool, but sometimes jazz sucks ... Maybe I'm the Kenny G of comedy.
Mike Birbiglia
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Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you.
Mike Birbiglia
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I just don't give off a great first impression.
Mike Birbiglia
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...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
Mike Birbiglia
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A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'
Mike Birbiglia
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Some people come up to me and say You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia And I say Well, here in America, you're annoying...
Mike Birbiglia
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I like 'Donnie Darko' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.
Mike Birbiglia
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I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!'
Mike Birbiglia
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I'm a compulsive everything.
Mike Birbiglia
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You can express love by calling out the truth out of the situation as opposed to dancing around it.
Mike Birbiglia
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I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness.
Mike Birbiglia
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Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.
Mike Birbiglia
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I have this habit of asking 'why do you want to do it?' and then interrupting them to say, 'here's why you want to do it.' Because it's in the 'yes...and' spirit [rule of improvisation].
Mike Birbiglia
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Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say You gotta dance! you gotta dance! And then I dance, and they're like, Not like that!
Mike Birbiglia
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It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.
Mike Birbiglia