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I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth.

Mignon McLaughlin

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Mignon McLaughlin
Age: 70 †
Born: 1913
Born: June 6
Died: 1983
Died: December 20
Journalist
Writer
the United States of America
Men
Glad
Mouths
Dozens
Paper
Cigarette
Pieces
Mars
Fire
Dozen
Literature
Smoking
Littles
Explain
Little
Mouth

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Most of our diversions do not so much delay death as accustom us to it.
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Altruism is a hard master, but so is opportunism.
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Age is a slowing down of everything except fear.
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Flesh goes on pleasuring us, and humiliating us, right to the end.
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Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful.
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We always prefer war on our own terms to peace on someone else's.
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Women usually love what they buy, yet hate two-thirds of what is in their closets.
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Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.
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One day you are an apprentice, and everybody's pet the next, you are coldly expected to deliver. There is never sufficient warning that the second day is coming.
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A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.
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Many beautiful women have been made happy by their own beauty, but no intelligent woman has ever been made happy by her own intelligence.
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A doctor recently described to me benign positional vertigo: it means you get dizzy in certain positions, but you can get over it without necessarily changing the position. Change vertigo to anxiety, and you've summed up the neurotic's plight.
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Loneliness, insomnia, and change: the fear of these is even worse than the reality.
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Humiliation is a vast country of imprecise boundaries. If you think you're there, you are. The neurotic rule: when in doubt, go ahead and feel humiliated.
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People keep telling us about their love affairs, when what we really want to know is how much money they make and how they manage on it.
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If you hate your lot but wouldn't trade it, it's not your lot you hate.
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Most of us would rather risk catastrophe than read the directions.
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Likely as not, the child you can do the least with will do the most to make you proud.
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After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6 degrees of marriage.
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In the theater, as in life, we prefer a villain with a sense of humor to a hero without one.
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