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I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth.

Mignon McLaughlin

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Mignon McLaughlin
Age: 70 †
Born: 1913
Born: June 6
Died: 1983
Died: December 20
Journalist
Writer
the United States of America
Men
Glad
Mouths
Dozens
Paper
Cigarette
Pieces
Mars
Fire
Dozen
Literature
Smoking
Littles
Explain
Little
Mouth

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Your best work always seems to have been done by someone else.
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Happiness is like the penny candy of our youth: we got a lot more for our money back when we had no money.
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When women feel they have learned to forgive their mothers - and men, their fathers - all it usually means is that they've decided to allow themselves the same kind of behavior.
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If your husband expects you to laugh, do so if he expects you to cry, don't if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married?
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If it came true, it wasn't much of a dream.
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The fault we admit to is seldom the fault we have, but it has a certain relationship to it, a somewhat similar shape, like that of a sleeve to an arm.
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For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.
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Love requires a willingness to die marriage, a willingness to live.
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Comfort, or revelation: God owes us one of these, but surely not both.
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Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.
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Love looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head.
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Failure can get to be a rather comfortable old friend.
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There's nothing wrong with most men's egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can't cure.
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If the pain wanders, do not waste your time with doctors.
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We are never more self-righteous than when giving up what we should have shunned all along.
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The total history of almost anyone would shock almost everyone.
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Healthy parakeets have the nervous energy of tennis players.
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We cough because we can't help it, but others do it on purpose.
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It does not undo harm to acknowledge that we have done it but it undoes us not to acknowledge it.
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I wish I'd said it first, and I don't even know who did: The only problems that money can solve are money problems.
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