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For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets.

Michael Showalter

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Michael Showalter
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: June 17
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Producer
Princeton
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More quotes by Michael Showalter

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I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.
Michael Showalter
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I think gay people deserve all the same rights as everybody else, it's just that marriage is specifically for a man and a woman.
Michael Showalter
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I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.
Michael Showalter
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In real life, comedians aren't funny.
Michael Showalter
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I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world. They have no concept of their behavior or how it might be affecting other people. So comedically, it's a very fun type of character to play. They are bulls in a china shop, twenty-four seven.
Michael Showalter
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I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.
Michael Showalter
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That's the thing that most people don't realize. In real life, comedians aren't funny. They save it. They save it up.
Michael Showalter
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I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.
Michael Showalter
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Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.
Michael Showalter
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I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.
Michael Showalter
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I know more about sports than I know about any other subject, unfortunately. I'm embarrassed to admit that.
Michael Showalter
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In my perfect world order, it is cold all the time. Everyone wears sweaters and drinks coffee. People don't speak to each other they read the newspaper. There is no loud music, and cats are in charge.
Michael Showalter
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I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.
Michael Showalter
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I calculated that if I wrote five pages a day, which seemed very doable, I would have an 1,800-page first draft when the deadline rolled around. Though completely unwritten, I was very impressed with how long my first draft would be.
Michael Showalter
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Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing classical comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.
Michael Showalter
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I just made a movie. There's a kind of a banter that some people might recognize as being screwball. There are no cell phones, no DVD playersit's set in a timeless Brooklyn. Hopefully, it's a good, old-fashioned movie.
Michael Showalter
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I'm writing a memoir. I'm four pages in. I start with my first memory, which is kicking my uncle in the balls. I was four.
Michael Showalter