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When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.
Michael R. Burch
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Michael R. Burch
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: February 19
Poet
the United States of America
Opinion
Learn
Morons
Felt
Intolerant
Better
Moron
Much
Bullied
Opinions
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Judging
More quotes by Michael R. Burch
President Obama contends that charges he is not really an American have been trumped up by you-know-who.
Michael R. Burch
Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
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Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.
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The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong this explains why he can't relate to other people.
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Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.
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Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.
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Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.
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Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since trump means triumph. One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
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Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.
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Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.
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Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End.
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When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
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Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?
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C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.
Michael R. Burch
If God is good half the Bible is libel.
Michael R. Burch
Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to hell for having impure thoughts.
Michael R. Burch
It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
Michael R. Burch
If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.
Michael R. Burch
Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
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Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!
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