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When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.
Michael R. Burch
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Michael R. Burch
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: February 19
Poet
the United States of America
Opinion
Learn
Morons
Felt
Intolerant
Better
Moron
Much
Bullied
Opinions
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Judging
More quotes by Michael R. Burch
Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End.
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It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages!
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How can the Bible be infallible when from Genesis to Revelation slavery is commanded and condoned, but never condemned?
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The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong this explains why he can't relate to other people.
Michael R. Burch
Trump claims he'd be the best jobs president that God ever created. But isn't his claim to fame firing people?
Michael R. Burch
Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!
Michael R. Burch
When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
Michael R. Burch
It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
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Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?
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Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.
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Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to hell for having impure thoughts.
Michael R. Burch
Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since trump means triumph. One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
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Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma.
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Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.
Michael R. Burch
Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.
Michael R. Burch
Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
Michael R. Burch
If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.
Michael R. Burch
Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.
Michael R. Burch
C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.
Michael R. Burch
President Obama contends that charges he is not really an American have been trumped up by you-know-who.
Michael R. Burch