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When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.

Michael R. Burch

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Michael R. Burch
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: February 19
Poet
the United States of America
Hair
Oversized
Becomes
Jumbo
Trump
Jet
Technology
Latest
Greatest
Contain
Force
Massive
President
Ego
Donald

More quotes by Michael R. Burch

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Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?
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C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.
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President Obama contends that charges he is not really an American have been trumped up by you-know-who.
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Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.
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It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages!
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Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.
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Trump claims he'd be the best jobs president that God ever created. But isn't his claim to fame firing people?
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Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.
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Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since trump means triumph. One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
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Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.
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The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong this explains why he can't relate to other people.
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If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.
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If God is good half the Bible is libel.
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Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma.
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It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
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When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.
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Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
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Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End.
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Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?
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Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
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