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Trump claims he'd be the best jobs president that God ever created. But isn't his claim to fame firing people?
Michael R. Burch
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Michael R. Burch
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: February 19
Poet
the United States of America
Ever
Claim
People
Claims
Fame
Created
Trump
President
Jobs
Best
Firing
More quotes by Michael R. Burch
When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.
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Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?
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Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
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The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong this explains why he can't relate to other people.
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When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
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Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.
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Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.
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Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.
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Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End.
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If God is good half the Bible is libel.
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If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.
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Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since trump means triumph. One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
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It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
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President Obama contends that charges he is not really an American have been trumped up by you-know-who.
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Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
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Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!
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Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.
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Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?
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C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.
Michael R. Burch
Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.
Michael R. Burch
