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The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong this explains why he can't relate to other people.
Michael R. Burch
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Michael R. Burch
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: February 19
Poet
the United States of America
Truth
Caused
People
Relate
Finally
Donald
Vaccination
Told
Vaccinations
Trump
Explains
Went
Autism
Wrong
Terribly
More quotes by Michael R. Burch
Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.
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Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
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Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.
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It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
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It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages!
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If God is good half the Bible is libel.
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Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since trump means triumph. One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
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Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?
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Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
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Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.
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Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.
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When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
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Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End.
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Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to hell for having impure thoughts.
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If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.
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C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.
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Trump claims he'd be the best jobs president that God ever created. But isn't his claim to fame firing people?
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When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.
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Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?
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How can the Bible be infallible when from Genesis to Revelation slavery is commanded and condoned, but never condemned?
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