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Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

Michael R. Burch

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Michael R. Burch
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: February 19
Poet
the United States of America
Bigs
Carrie
Speak
Spoke
Shtick
Carried
Loudly
Speaks
Teddy
Stick
Roosevelt
Sticks
Softly
Donald
Carries
Trump
Spokes

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Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to hell for having impure thoughts.
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Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.
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If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.
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Trump claims he'd be the best jobs president that God ever created. But isn't his claim to fame firing people?
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It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
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If God is good half the Bible is libel.
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Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since trump means triumph. One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
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Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.
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It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages!
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Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.
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Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
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Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.
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Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!
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Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End.
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Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?
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Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.
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Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
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When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
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Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.
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