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Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.
Michael R. Burch
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Michael R. Burch
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: February 19
Poet
the United States of America
Sticks
Softly
Donald
Carries
Trump
Spokes
Bigs
Carrie
Speak
Spoke
Shtick
Carried
Loudly
Speaks
Teddy
Stick
Roosevelt
More quotes by Michael R. Burch
If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.
Michael R. Burch
Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.
Michael R. Burch
Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since trump means triumph. One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
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Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.
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Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.
Michael R. Burch
When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
Michael R. Burch
Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
Michael R. Burch
President Obama contends that charges he is not really an American have been trumped up by you-know-who.
Michael R. Burch
Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma.
Michael R. Burch
Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
Michael R. Burch
It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages!
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The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong this explains why he can't relate to other people.
Michael R. Burch
Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.
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Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?
Michael R. Burch
Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.
Michael R. Burch
Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?
Michael R. Burch
Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.
Michael R. Burch
Trump claims he'd be the best jobs president that God ever created. But isn't his claim to fame firing people?
Michael R. Burch
C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.
Michael R. Burch
It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
Michael R. Burch
