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If God is good half the Bible is libel.

Michael R. Burch

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Michael R. Burch
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: February 19
Poet
the United States of America
Libel
Bible
Half
Good

More quotes by Michael R. Burch

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Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End.
Michael R. Burch
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Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!
Michael R. Burch
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President Obama contends that charges he is not really an American have been trumped up by you-know-who.
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Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.
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If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.
Michael R. Burch
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How can the Bible be infallible when from Genesis to Revelation slavery is commanded and condoned, but never condemned?
Michael R. Burch
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C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.
Michael R. Burch
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Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
Michael R. Burch
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Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.
Michael R. Burch
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Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.
Michael R. Burch
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Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to hell for having impure thoughts.
Michael R. Burch
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When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.
Michael R. Burch
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It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
Michael R. Burch
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Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since trump means triumph. One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.
Michael R. Burch
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Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.
Michael R. Burch
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Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.
Michael R. Burch
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When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
Michael R. Burch
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Trump claims he'd be the best jobs president that God ever created. But isn't his claim to fame firing people?
Michael R. Burch
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Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.
Michael R. Burch
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Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?
Michael R. Burch