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My wife and I both made a list of 5 people we could sleep with...she read hers out and there were no surprises...1 George Clooney...2 Brad Pitt etc...I thought 'Ive got the better deal here'...1 Your sister

Michael McIntyre

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Michael McIntyre
Age: 48
Born: 1976
Born: February 21
Comedian
Presenter
Stand-Up Comedian
Writer
Merton
Michael Hazen James McIntyre
Better
George
Pitt
Made
Surprise
Brad
People
Deal
Surprises
Deals
Etc
Wife
List
Sleep
Witty
Read
Lists
Thought
Sister

More quotes by Michael McIntyre

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I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker.
Michael McIntyre
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So you're mother? Nice to put a name to a face.
Michael McIntyre
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They had to ask spain I think, they've had to say to Spain, can you lend us some stuff for the roads, and it's Gordon Brown phoning up going 'pass the salt'
Michael McIntyre
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I've got a little baby, I made him...He doesn't speak, he's 2...He's a slow learner, he's only got 2 words...car and map...I'm slightly worried he's trying to escape. If his next word is passport we are in serious trouble!
Michael McIntyre