It's like what you might call Goldilocks' dilemma in the old fairy tale. Young men see women as less than or better than, but never their equals. And studies indicate that equality is the best foundation for a healthy relationship.

Feminism loves men enough to expect them to act more honorably and actually believes them capable of doing so.

The pull of Guyland reminds us that women cannot accomplish this transformation alone. In the book's final chapter I argue that just as men need to stand up, do the right thing and break the silence that perpetuates Guyland, so, too, do women need to support each other in resisting its pull.

Young men are eager to hook up with women. And many say they have very good female friends. But some of the emotions circulating among guys make it difficult to form and sustain healthy relationships.

My colleagues and I have done a survey of 13,000 students on more than 17 campuses, and we found that while sex in college has always been a bit more casual, hooking up has pretty much replaced other traditional forms of dating.

We have the data to prove to men that gender equality is not a zero-sum game, but a win-win.

And few hookups, if any, ever take place sober. And while wearing beer goggles may make people appear more attractive, it doesn't exactly make for sexual ecstasy! There's always been a difference between pleasure and scoring.

I believe that Americans are entitled. We're entitled to have a job that makes us feel like we have some dignity in our lives, that we live a life of integrity, and that we have good family relationships and our relationships with our friends and our families and our coworkers are enriching and meaningful.

Privilege is invisible to those who have it.

So guys who are otherwise sensitive and thoughtful say and do ridiculously dumb things to impress other guys. It's an enormous performance, but guys know that if they fail, they'll be ridiculed as sissies mercilessly.

Some of the worst elements of Guyland rest on the twin pillars of men's silence and women's compliance.