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Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.
Michael Ian Black
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Michael Ian Black
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: August 12
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Write
Money
Writing
Publish
Whatever
More quotes by Michael Ian Black
I'm very introverted, so it requires a huge effort for me to put on a smile and extend a hand and accept compliments. I would much rather be insulted than complimented any day.
Michael Ian Black
I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, Oh, what have I seen you in?
Michael Ian Black
It doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks.
Michael Ian Black
I never really understood what was expected of me as a man, or how I was supposed to interact with women, but worse, with other guys. I did not relate to them.
Michael Ian Black
As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.
Michael Ian Black
My goal is to work. That's the goal of most actors or performers: to work and keep working, and do the best you can, and keep growing and changing, trying to improve your craft.
Michael Ian Black
Kids love to be silly, they love to laugh, so I think it was natural for my kids to like the sort of books that I write - and it's the only kinds of books I'm capable of writing.
Michael Ian Black
Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panicked childhood in which I always felt as if our family was only a couple missed child support payments from being tossed onto the pitiless streets of our suburban New Jersey town.
Michael Ian Black
Super excited about things I'm going to do never excited about things I'm actually doing.
Michael Ian Black
If I revise a children's book, if I'm spending three hours on the first draft, I'm probably spending 30 minutes revising it. I mean, come on! But to redo a painting? That's hard work.
Michael Ian Black
My tastes in all things lean towards the arty and boring. I like sports documentaries about Scrabble players, bands that play quiet, unassuming music, and TV shows that win awards. In that way, I am an elitist snob. And proud of it.
Michael Ian Black
There is no word for feeling nostalgic about the future, but that's what a parent's tears often are, a nostalgia for something that has not yet occurred. They are the pain of hope, the helplessness of hope, and finally, the surrender to hope.
Michael Ian Black
The global business climate is likewhatever, dude.
Michael Ian Black
The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead.
Michael Ian Black
I thought I'd be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I'd do comedy or be married living in the suburbs. Every time I try to plan my life out it just doesn't come to pass, and I think that's a great experience.
Michael Ian Black
I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a defensive measure against encroaching depression. Until about the age of eleven or twelve, I had zero interests other than trying to steal gumballs from supermarket gumball machines.
Michael Ian Black
The illustrators work so much harder on the books than the writers do. I mean, that's so much work doing what they do, and it's terrible for them.
Michael Ian Black
Things you never thought were going to turn into something end up being the most important things in your life. You have to learn to not try to control it.
Michael Ian Black
I take my coffee like I take my women... strong... black... and proud.
Michael Ian Black
I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.
Michael Ian Black
