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Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.
Michael Ian Black
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Michael Ian Black
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: August 12
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Shuffling
Deathbed
Something
Really
More quotes by Michael Ian Black
My absolute favorite growing up was Super Friends. The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes.
Michael Ian Black
I thought I'd be living a much more bohemian life and be very poor. I never thought I'd do comedy or be married living in the suburbs. Every time I try to plan my life out it just doesn't come to pass, and I think that's a great experience.
Michael Ian Black
I take my coffee like I take my women... strong... black... and proud.
Michael Ian Black
I never really understood what was expected of me as a man, or how I was supposed to interact with women, but worse, with other guys. I did not relate to them.
Michael Ian Black
As a game-show host, what I'm thinking and what I'm experiencing doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter. So there's a flattened reality to it. It's fun to do. But it's certainly not myself in totality - or even maybe a little bit.
Michael Ian Black
I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.
Michael Ian Black
I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, Oh, what have I seen you in?
Michael Ian Black
I was very surprised how many people were earnestly reminiscing about the '80s. It's such a stupid thing to do, like, to be honestly invested in nostalgia. It never even occurred to me to do that.
Michael Ian Black
Part of what's exciting to me about my career is the constant looking forward. Whenever I finish one project, I am looking to what's next.
Michael Ian Black
Any time I am involved in something from conception to execution, that's obviously a lot more personal, and I'm going to be more invested in it than something where I just show up for a couple days, shoot, and leave.
Michael Ian Black
As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.
Michael Ian Black
The global business climate is likewhatever, dude.
Michael Ian Black
I'm very introverted, so it requires a huge effort for me to put on a smile and extend a hand and accept compliments. I would much rather be insulted than complimented any day.
Michael Ian Black
Super excited about things I'm going to do never excited about things I'm actually doing.
Michael Ian Black
The whole idea of punk rock is that you're dressing yourself in a crazy leather jacket with safety pins and a Mohawk. The idea of being the rebel is a boring societal idea. It's such a type. And that's what I was, without knowing it.
Michael Ian Black
I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a defensive measure against encroaching depression. Until about the age of eleven or twelve, I had zero interests other than trying to steal gumballs from supermarket gumball machines.
Michael Ian Black
Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.
Michael Ian Black
That's been my fear all along. That I'm not enough, and I still don't trust at all that I am.
Michael Ian Black
If I revise a children's book, if I'm spending three hours on the first draft, I'm probably spending 30 minutes revising it. I mean, come on! But to redo a painting? That's hard work.
Michael Ian Black
The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead.
Michael Ian Black