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Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.

Michael Ian Black

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Michael Ian Black
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: August 12
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Really
Shuffling
Deathbed
Something

More quotes by Michael Ian Black

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Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.
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The characters that I have on Twitter have very little resemblance to me, the person who's writing them.
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Part of what's exciting to me about my career is the constant looking forward. Whenever I finish one project, I am looking to what's next.
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As an actor, you can show up on a set and be on a TV show for three or four years, or whatever it is and, by the end of it, you just want to do something else.
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I don't necessarily self-identify as a writer, 'cause it implies a certain level of intelligence.
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I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human being.
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I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, Oh, what have I seen you in?
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As a game-show host, what I'm thinking and what I'm experiencing doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter. So there's a flattened reality to it. It's fun to do. But it's certainly not myself in totality - or even maybe a little bit.
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I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a defensive measure against encroaching depression. Until about the age of eleven or twelve, I had zero interests other than trying to steal gumballs from supermarket gumball machines.
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Things you never thought were going to turn into something end up being the most important things in your life. You have to learn to not try to control it.
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I never really understood what was expected of me as a man, or how I was supposed to interact with women, but worse, with other guys. I did not relate to them.
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My tastes in all things lean towards the arty and boring. I like sports documentaries about Scrabble players, bands that play quiet, unassuming music, and TV shows that win awards. In that way, I am an elitist snob. And proud of it.
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That's been my fear all along. That I'm not enough, and I still don't trust at all that I am.
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I loved Dungeons & Dragons. Actually, not so much the actual playing as the creation of characters and the opportunity to roll twenty-sided dice. I loved those pouches of dice Dungeon Masters would trundle around, loved choosing what I was going to be: warrior, wizard, dwarf, thief.
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It doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks.
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I hope you die.... P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.
Michael Ian Black
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The whole idea of punk rock is that you're dressing yourself in a crazy leather jacket with safety pins and a Mohawk. The idea of being the rebel is a boring societal idea. It's such a type. And that's what I was, without knowing it.
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If you say I'm going to be an actor, but I'll get a teaching degree just in case, when things get hard, you'll just be a teacher and that's how you get stuck.
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Super excited about things I'm going to do never excited about things I'm actually doing.
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The illustrators work so much harder on the books than the writers do. I mean, that's so much work doing what they do, and it's terrible for them.
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