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Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panicked childhood in which I always felt as if our family was only a couple missed child support payments from being tossed onto the pitiless streets of our suburban New Jersey town.

Michael Ian Black

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Michael Ian Black
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: August 12
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Money
Childhood
Springs
Character
Streets
Jersey
Pitiless
Children
Couple
Missed
Panicked
Always
Doubt
Flaws
Payments
Love
Support
Onto
Suburban
Child
Town
Tossed
Family
Towns
Flaw
Felt
Spring
Payment

More quotes by Michael Ian Black

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There's things I know I'm good at, and those things interest me less and less. I learn a lot more from doing it wrong than I do from doing it right.
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Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.
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The global business climate is likewhatever, dude.
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The illustrators work so much harder on the books than the writers do. I mean, that's so much work doing what they do, and it's terrible for them.
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I feel no obligation to teach my readers anything, to impart any sort of wisdom, to teach any sort of lesson, to instill any sort of morality. All I'm trying to do is make them and their parents laugh.
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Any time I am involved in something from conception to execution, that's obviously a lot more personal, and I'm going to be more invested in it than something where I just show up for a couple days, shoot, and leave.
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The whole idea of punk rock is that you're dressing yourself in a crazy leather jacket with safety pins and a Mohawk. The idea of being the rebel is a boring societal idea. It's such a type. And that's what I was, without knowing it.
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I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, Oh, what have I seen you in?
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That's been my fear all along. That I'm not enough, and I still don't trust at all that I am.
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Part of what's exciting to me about my career is the constant looking forward. Whenever I finish one project, I am looking to what's next.
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My tastes in all things lean towards the arty and boring. I like sports documentaries about Scrabble players, bands that play quiet, unassuming music, and TV shows that win awards. In that way, I am an elitist snob. And proud of it.
Michael Ian Black
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The characters that I have on Twitter have very little resemblance to me, the person who's writing them.
Michael Ian Black
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I'm very introverted, so it requires a huge effort for me to put on a smile and extend a hand and accept compliments. I would much rather be insulted than complimented any day.
Michael Ian Black
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As a game-show host, what I'm thinking and what I'm experiencing doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter. So there's a flattened reality to it. It's fun to do. But it's certainly not myself in totality - or even maybe a little bit.
Michael Ian Black
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I never really understood what was expected of me as a man, or how I was supposed to interact with women, but worse, with other guys. I did not relate to them.
Michael Ian Black
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The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead.
Michael Ian Black
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If I revise a children's book, if I'm spending three hours on the first draft, I'm probably spending 30 minutes revising it. I mean, come on! But to redo a painting? That's hard work.
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My goal is to work. That's the goal of most actors or performers: to work and keep working, and do the best you can, and keep growing and changing, trying to improve your craft.
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I loved Dungeons & Dragons. Actually, not so much the actual playing as the creation of characters and the opportunity to roll twenty-sided dice. I loved those pouches of dice Dungeon Masters would trundle around, loved choosing what I was going to be: warrior, wizard, dwarf, thief.
Michael Ian Black
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If you say I'm going to be an actor, but I'll get a teaching degree just in case, when things get hard, you'll just be a teacher and that's how you get stuck.
Michael Ian Black