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Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panicked childhood in which I always felt as if our family was only a couple missed child support payments from being tossed onto the pitiless streets of our suburban New Jersey town.

Michael Ian Black

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Michael Ian Black
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: August 12
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Character
Streets
Jersey
Pitiless
Children
Couple
Missed
Panicked
Always
Doubt
Flaws
Payments
Love
Support
Onto
Suburban
Child
Town
Tossed
Family
Towns
Flaw
Felt
Spring
Payment
Money
Childhood
Springs

More quotes by Michael Ian Black

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Hosting a game show is so bizarre and uniquely its own thing. Anytime I'm hosting something, I try to bring as much of myself to it as I can, but it's always going to be incomplete.
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My absolute favorite growing up was Super Friends. The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes.
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If I revise a children's book, if I'm spending three hours on the first draft, I'm probably spending 30 minutes revising it. I mean, come on! But to redo a painting? That's hard work.
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Whatever I write I publish. Because that's where the money is.
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I'll never admit that I'm an actor, because the next horrible follow-up question is always, Oh, what have I seen you in?
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As a game-show host, what I'm thinking and what I'm experiencing doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter. So there's a flattened reality to it. It's fun to do. But it's certainly not myself in totality - or even maybe a little bit.
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I don't chase after things, but I put forward the effort and know the rest of it is out of my hands.
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My goal is to work. That's the goal of most actors or performers: to work and keep working, and do the best you can, and keep growing and changing, trying to improve your craft.
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I was very surprised how many people were earnestly reminiscing about the '80s. It's such a stupid thing to do, like, to be honestly invested in nostalgia. It never even occurred to me to do that.
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The whole idea of punk rock is that you're dressing yourself in a crazy leather jacket with safety pins and a Mohawk. The idea of being the rebel is a boring societal idea. It's such a type. And that's what I was, without knowing it.
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I take my coffee like I take my women... strong... black... and proud.
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The Atkins' diet is where you eat bacon for six or seven months...and the end result is that you lose weight. Because you're dead.
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Kids love to be silly, they love to laugh, so I think it was natural for my kids to like the sort of books that I write - and it's the only kinds of books I'm capable of writing.
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Shuffling really isn't something you should be doing on your deathbed.
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The characters that I have on Twitter have very little resemblance to me, the person who's writing them.
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I can be a snarky Asshole, or I can be sort of mentally impaired. It's very hard for me to just be normal human being.
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The illustrators work so much harder on the books than the writers do. I mean, that's so much work doing what they do, and it's terrible for them.
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I loved Dungeons & Dragons. Actually, not so much the actual playing as the creation of characters and the opportunity to roll twenty-sided dice. I loved those pouches of dice Dungeon Masters would trundle around, loved choosing what I was going to be: warrior, wizard, dwarf, thief.
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It doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks.
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Super excited about things I'm going to do never excited about things I'm actually doing.
Michael Ian Black