The purpose of satire has been rightly stated as to strip off the veneer of comforting illusion and cosy half truth, and our job, as I see it, is to put it back again!

In July the Sun is hot. Is it shining? No, it's not!

The English, the English, The English are best: So Up with the English and Down with the Rest!

If God had intended us to fly, he'd have never given us railways.

January brings the snow / Makes your feet and fingers glow / February's ice and sleet / Freeze the toes right off your feet / Welcome March with wintry wind / Would thou wer't not so unkind / April brings the sweet spring showers / On and on for hours and hours.