Quote

I'm a frustrated stand-up comic. If you hand me a microphone and I get one laugh, then I'll go on for 20 minutes.

Michael Caine

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Michael Caine
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: March 14
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Maurice Joseph Micklewhite
Maurice Joseph Micklewhite Jr.
Sir Michael Caine
CBE
Sir Michael Caine
Stand
Hand
Microphone
Hands
Microphones
Frustrated
Comic
Laugh
Laughing
Minutes

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If I work with a bad actor, my reaction is to immediately become worse than they are.
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When I look in the mirror, I see someone who's happy with how he looks, because I was never one of the handsome Hollywood people. And I've had success as I've gotten older, because I'm able to play characters. I no longer get the girl, but I get the part.
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If you held a pistol at my head, I couldn't tell you who they're going to vote for Best Actor.
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I spent my life in the library reading books.
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For me, the performance was always playing different people. And so when I got older, was no longer the romantic leading movie star, it became more and more interesting for me, the characters I played, you know?
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I don't meet stockbrokers or carpenters or coal miners I spend all day with actors, composers and photographers.
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Books were my window on the world. Growing up at the Elephant and Castle, which was very rough, my paradise was the library.
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I have been rich and I have been poor. I know which one I prefer.
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We can only use British actors because everybody's got to talk exactly the same.
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Use the difficulties - if you can't avoid them
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I just try to play more and more difficult roles.
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Save your money. You're going to need twice as much money in your old age as you think.
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One of the great things with comedy is that there's no such thing as a mediocre comedy it's either uproarious or crap. That's the problem.
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Anyone can write. But comedy, you've got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas.
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How can I change me to suit the script?
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I'm trying to work only with established, respected directors. I took a lot of bad scripts and worked for a lot of lazy directors, and it was discouraging to go to the screenings and see that the director had added nothing, the editor had added nothing, there was nothing to see.
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If you're an actor and you don't act for a long time you sort of think, I wonder if I can still do it.
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Be patient.Of course it will come. It took me years to get an Oscar.
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You cannot have one bathroom. And it don't matter how much you love your wife and everything, 'cause you wind up with no room at all. You just get a little corner and you've got a toothbrush and your paste and a shaving brush and a razor. And you can never get in there. So you must have two bathrooms. You really must. I think it's essential.
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Theater acting is an operation with a scalpel, movie acting is an operation with a laser
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