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I'm a frustrated stand-up comic. If you hand me a microphone and I get one laugh, then I'll go on for 20 minutes.
Michael Caine
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Michael Caine
Age: 91
Born: 1933
Born: March 14
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Maurice Joseph Micklewhite
Maurice Joseph Micklewhite Jr.
Sir Michael Caine
CBE
Sir Michael Caine
Stand
Hand
Microphone
Hands
Microphones
Frustrated
Comic
Laugh
Laughing
Minutes
More quotes by Michael Caine
I've always got to have one impossible dream on the back burner.
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Books were my window on the world. Growing up at the Elephant and Castle, which was very rough, my paradise was the library.
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I spent 30 years of my life not being wanted at all for films.
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I'm every bourgeois nightmare - a Cockney with intelligence and a million dollars.
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I've made the transition from star to character actor and I'm thoroughly enjoying it.
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You start pretending to have fun, you might have a little by accident.
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Hollywood is a cross between a health farm, a recreation center and an insane asylum. It's a company town, and I happen to like the company!
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No matter what the reason, if you start to scream and shout, you look a fool, and you feel a fool, and you earn the disrespect of everyone.
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I don't have to work. I suppose I should retire. But I enjoy working.
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I have enough money not to do pictures ever. I'm seventy years old. I don't want to get up at 6:30 in the morning and learn ten pages of dialogue to do with a bunch of creeps I don't like. It's gotta be fun for me.
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About Superman and Batman: the former is how America views itself, the latter, darker character is how the rest of the world views America.
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I prefer to remake flops. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was a remake of a flop, and The Quiet American is a remake of a flop.
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I want to stick around with the big boys. I don't want to be in the old folks home.
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I just love to go home, no matter where I am, the most luxurious hotel suite in the world, I love to go home.
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If you put someone on screen long enough, they become the hero.
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There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.
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If you're blond, as I am, and you have blond lashes, you have to wear mascara, otherwise you're invisible on stage.
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I never look back at all. All of my sentiment and emotion goes into my family. I'm an extremely family oriented person and I have a very, very happy family life. That doesn't just include blood relations. I have friends who are close to me.
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To be a movie star, you have to carry a movie. And to carry a movie where you play the title role is the supreme example.
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This is your life, Larry. Learn to enjoy what you've got.
Michael Caine
