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Animals shouldn't eat gumdrops! They shouldn't drink tea or chocolate milk, either.

Michael Buckley

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Michael Buckley
Chocolate
Milk
Shouldn
Animals
Drink
Either
Animal
Tea

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If we have to get married and have a million babies, I hope our relationship will be built on mutual disgust and an endless barrage of ridicule and insults. It feels like the only thing I can count on right now. I don’t want something dumb like respect and affection getting in the way.
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The night is young, and by the grace of magic, so are we.
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..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different
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Nothing like a puppet to give you the willies.
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How ironic, she thought, as she fell to her certain death, that at that moment she would have given anything to be a giant goose again.
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So Henry, Puck said as he kicked off his shoes and propped his smelly feet on the kitchen table. I was wondering what you can tell me about puberty. Henry turned pale and stammered. Sabrina wanted to crawl under the table and die.
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Don't duh me! Puck snapped. Trying to figure out what you're thinking from one day to the next takes more brains than I have. Well, maybe you should stop. I'd hate to burn out that little peanut in your head.
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Please, don't hate me because I am beautiful.
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I'm soooooo telling. Puck stood behind her. You two disobeyed your parents! I'm both shocked and really impressed.
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The only bad ideas are the ones never tried.
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And who are you supposed to be? the King of snot-nosed delinquents?
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Puck turned to Sabrina. What is she doing down there? Hiding, I guess. Puck leaned down and poked his head under the seat. I found you. Ms. Smirt shrieked. Puck lifted himself up to his full height and laughed. She's fun. He leaned back down and she screamed again. I could do this all day. Can I keep her?
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If you want a happy ending you have to go out and take it.
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Save the people you love, who cares about the rest of the world? - Uncle Jake
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Girls, I need to tell you some things about our family, Sabrina said. Have you ever heard of the Brothers Grimm?
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Mirror sighed. I believe everyone deserves a happily ever after. But I think that happy endings don't just happen by accident- you can't wait for one. You have to make them happen.
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Keep your paws off my fiancèe, you flea-ridden stray!
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I ate her cooking for eighteen years, he whispered. You get used to it. Oh yeah, when? I think it happened around the seventeenth year, Henry said.
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He turned into a rhinocerous, Ms. Smirt said. He does that, Sabrina said.
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Snow, get behind me! Charming shouted as he leaped to his feet. I'll handle this brute. Billy, the teacher cried. This is the twenty-first century, Women don't need the white knight routine anymore. I can fight my own battles.
Michael Buckley