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Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date.

Merrill Markoe

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Merrill Markoe
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 13
Author
Journalist
Novelist
Screenwriter
New York City
New York
Questions
Asks
Doesn
Firsts
First
Men
Beware
Date

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My dogs, the only creatures on the planet marked by my singular nurturing imprint, have all turned out to be rude and self-absorbed. In all likelihood, if they were children instead of dogs, I would have foisted more Charlie Sheens or Kardashians onto our crumbling culture.
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my mother ... took the fact that my taste differed from hers as a personal insult.
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A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs and bars along the Sunset Strip.
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Beware the cute, hot guy who kind of reminds you of the parent you don't get along with: your cold, distant father who left when you were a kid or your hot-tempered mother whom you could never please.
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whenever I encountered a slide show titled 'Eight Diet Foods That Pack on the Pounds' or 'Celebrity Fashion Fails,' I'd have to stop and investigate because hey, it might be information I'd need in some unforeseeable future where I had become, for some reason, a fat celebrity.
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The whole narcissism and echo syndrome is usually the result of early childhood training. Those are very hard habits for anyone to break.
Merrill Markoe
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I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.
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I’ve made my life’s work spotting assholes. And you know, I think it’s harder now than ever before because there’s so many socially acceptable ways to exhibit a pathological lack of empathy.
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I always hated those classic kid movies like Old Yeller or The Yearling where the beloved pet dies. What would be so wrong with having those damn kids learn their lessons about mortality from watching Grandpa kick? Then at least the dog would be around to comfort them.
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No one would argue against the fact that L.A. leads the country in opportunities for being hip and pretentious.
Merrill Markoe
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When you have been writing for a lot of years, you have to make an effort not to start repeating yourself. It occurred to me that I tended to tread certain ground automatically, because it was comfortable, but that there were areas I avoided automatically because they made me nervous.
Merrill Markoe
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Of the things I know to be true in life, right at the top of the list of irrefutable truths is, No one ever listens to anyone. It might even be No. 1.
Merrill Markoe
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I am deeply grateful for the life I do have. In many ways, I am very fortunate.
Merrill Markoe
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Whatever behavior you've experienced from people in the past, expect them to do it again and again and again.
Merrill Markoe
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Men, as a general rule, shy away from therapy because there is no obvious way to keep score.
Merrill Markoe
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Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness.
Merrill Markoe
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A wacky, trendy outfit on a guy over 40 indicates he's got big issues.
Merrill Markoe
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Beware the old man in young guy's clothes. If he's over 35 and comes to pick you up looking as though he's headed for a skateboarding competition while you are dressed to go to a nice restaurant, this is not a good sign.
Merrill Markoe
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I think people figure out early in their lives what currency they can work in.
Merrill Markoe
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I don't like the celebrity gossip culture, and I certainly don't want to contribute to it. I don't care about the Kardashians, or any of them.
Merrill Markoe