Quote

The conflict between what one is and who one is expected to be touches all of us. And sometimes, rather than reach for what one could be, we choose the comfort of the failed role, preferring to be the victim of circumstance, the person who didn't have a chance.

Merle Shain

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Merle Shain
Age: 53 †
Born: 1935
Born: January 1
Died: 1989
Died: January 1
Author
Journalist
City of Toronto
Sometimes
Circumstances
Circumstance
Choose
Failed
Roles
Victim
Chance
Expected
Rather
Reach
Didn
Conflict
Persons
Role
Preferring
Person
Comfort
Touches

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Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life.
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It takes a lot of mulch, love does, to create a froth.
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But who would rush at a benighted man, and give him two black eyes for being blind?
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The answer doesn't lie in learning how to protect ourselves from life-it lies in learning how to become strong enough to let a bit more of it in.
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when you put something good into the world, something good comes back to you.
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There are really only two ways to approach life - as victim or as gallant fighter - and you must decide if you want to act or react, deal your own cards or play with a stacked deck. And if you don't decide which way to play with life, it always plays with you.
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The day you spend hoping, the day you spend waiting, the day you spend in despair, is a day in your life as much as the tomorrow you hope for, but which may never come, so betting today on tomorrow is always a bad bet.
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The roots of love sink down and deep and strike out far, and they are arteries that feed our lives, so we must see that they get the water and sun they need so they can nourish us. And when you put something good into the world, something good comes back to you.
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Sex deepens love and love deepens sex, so physical intimacy transforms everything and playing with it is playing with fire.
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One can never change the past, only the hold it has on you.
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One can never change the past, only the hold it has on you, and while nothing in your life is reversible, you can reverse it nevertheless.
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The best kind of men have a certainty in themselves that isn't done in when countered by a certainty in their women, and they are much adored.
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Perhaps the old view of 'Me breadwinner, you hausfrau' worked for our grandparents, when people obligingly popped off before boring each other to death, but it won't work any longer because we are living too long and divorce is needed today to do what death acomplished more economically before.
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The job of a friend is not to decide what should be done, not to run interference or pick up the slack. The job of a friend is to understand, and to supply energy and hope, and in doing so to keep those they value on their feet a little longer, so that they can fight another round and grow strong in themselves.
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The older I get, the clearer it becomes to me that no one is cheated in this world, unless it's by himself.
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you have to be very careful when you give to others that you don't tell them how great you are rather than how much you value them.
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Feelings take you into uncharted territory from time to time it's true, but you almost always benefit from the journey one way or the other. We tend to think of the rational as a higher order, but it is the emotional that marks our lives.
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Love is short, forgetting is long, and understanding longer still.
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Men who take advantage of one woman take advantage of them all.
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Our strength is in our dreams, and those who do not dare to dream damn themselves.
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