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We cannot change others, but when we change ourselves, we may end up changing the world.

Melody Beattie

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Melody Beattie
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: May 26
Author
Writer
St Paul
Minnesota
Changing
Others
Cannot
Ends
Change
May
World

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A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.
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Like it or not, i was already learning that in the worst and darkest time, I would find specks of light, moments of joy. What I didn't want to learn was the other, harsher lesson - that in life's brightest moments there would also be unbearable pain. p 87
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Sometimes, we don't get what we want. . . But this is a benevolent universe. And once in a while, we do.
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Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
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Control is an illusion.
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Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty.
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When it's too difficult to keep swimming, float.
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Gratitude turns what we have into enough.
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Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect.
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Resentments are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen up and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go.
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We decided that sooner or later you had to learn to live without almost everybody, at least for a while. Even people you didn't think you could live without. p 167 love always found itself again.
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...the pain that comes from loving someone who's in trouble can be profound.
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Arranging for and allowing ourselves to have fun is an important part of taking care of ourselves. It helps us stay healthy. It helps us work better. It balances life. We deserve to have fun. Fun is a normal part of being alive. Fun is taking time to celebrate being alive.
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Striving for excellence is a positive quality. Striving for perfection is self-defeating.
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Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.
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I pray for faith that my future will be good if I live today well, and in peace. I will remember that staying in the present is the best thing I can do for my future. I will focus on what’s happening now instead of what’s going to happen tomorrow.
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...Help me let go of my need to stay immersed in negativity. I can change the energy in myself and my environment from nega­tive to positive. I will affirm the good until it sinks in and feels real. I will also strive to find one quality that I like about someone else who's important to me, and I will take the risk of telling him or her that.
Melody Beattie
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Worrying, obsessing, and controlling are illusions. They are tricks we play on ourselves.
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Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't.
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Panic, not the task, is the enemy.
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