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All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me it's a sign of security.

Mel Brooks

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Mel Brooks
Age: 98
Born: 1926
Born: June 28
Actor
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Librettist
Lyricist
Screenwriter
Soldier
Songwriter
Stage Actor
Brooklyn
New York
Melvin Brooks
Melvin Kaminsky
Marry
Sign
Short
Security
Taller
Wife
Fuse
Woman
Delayed
Two
Inch
Women
Inches

More quotes by Mel Brooks

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If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
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One day, God said 'Let there be prey.' And he created pigeons, rabbits, lambs and Gene Wilder.
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Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made.
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There's an army story in me, and I think there's a WWII Brooks film somewhere.
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Comedy is lively, comedy is joy, and that's what keeps us [people] going, we've got to look forward to little, little happiness's. Little, little joys, and comedy is very, very important, it's a vital. We underestimate its value, but we should see more comedies. Comedy is life giving, it's invigorating. I really believe it.
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I make people laugh for a living. I believe I can say objectively that what I do I do as well as anybody. Just say I'm one of the best broken field runners that ever lived. For 35 years I was a cult hero, an underground funny.
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I was out in the combat engineers. We would throw up bridges in advance of the infantry but mainly we would just throw up.
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I like people with big talents and small neuroses - not always an easy combination to find. I've discovered that if the neurosis is too big, it diminishes the talent and you wind up working too hard for what you get.
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We rest our case on the production numbers.
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Immortality is a by-product of good work. Masterpieces are not for artists, they're for critics. Critics can't even make music by rubbing their back legs together. My message to the world is 'Let's swing, sing, shout, make noise! Let's not mimic death before our time comes! Let's be wet and noisy!'
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THE 2,000-YEAR-OLD MAN'S SECRETS OF LONGEVITY 1. Don't run for a bus - there'll always be another. 2. Never, ever touch fried food. 3. Stay out of a Ferrari or any other small Italian car. 4. Eat fruit - a nectarine - even a rotten plum is good.
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Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy.
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I wanted to entertain so badly that I kept at it until I was good. I just browbeat my way into show business.
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Well, you know, 'Spaceballs' is a weird combination, because it's a simple, sweet little fairytale, and it's crazy and out-there and making fun of and taking apart sci-fi, 'Star Wars', and 'Star Trek'.
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The audience. They see the name Mel Brooks, they want something really funny. They don't want to be moved they don't want to be taught any lessons. [...] I get more letters for Twelve Chairs and Life Stinks than I get from any other movies, because people actually agree with the philosophy, or were moved, or they love the movie.
Mel Brooks
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Humor keeps the elderly rolling along, singing a song. When you laugh, its an involuntary explosion of the lungs. The lungs need to replenish themselves with oxygen. So you laugh, you breathe, the blood runs, and everything is circulating. If you dont laugh, youll die.
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Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.
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Being short never bothered me for three seconds. The rest of the time I wanted to commit suicide.
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As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin those guys mean a lot to me.
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If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.
Mel Brooks