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My wife's the ugliest woman in the world - I'd sooner take her with me on tour, than kiss her goodbye.

Max Miller

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Max Miller
World
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Ugliest

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My wife's father said if you marry my daughter I'll give you three acres and a cow. I'm still waiting for the three acres.
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My wife is so stupendously ugly it is easier to take her with me than to kiss her goodbye.
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