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Whatever bro, tell it to the whales

Max Brooks

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Max Brooks
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: May 22
Author
Comedian
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Maximillian Michael Brooks
Bros
Whales
Whatever
Tell

More quotes by Max Brooks

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Secrecy is a vacuum and nothing fills a vacuum like paranoid speculation.
Max Brooks
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There comes a point where emotions must give way to objective facts.
Max Brooks
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Lies are neither bad nor good. Like a fire they can either keep you warm or burn you to death, depending on how they're used.
Max Brooks
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They were viewed very much like castles, I suppose: as crumbling, obsolete relics, with no real modern function other than as tourist attractions. But when the skies darkened and the nation called, both reawoke to the meaning of their existence. One shielded our bodies, the other, our souls.
Max Brooks
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Sometimes you find your path, sometimes it finds you.
Max Brooks
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Often, a school is your best bet-perhaps not for education but certainly for protection from an undead attack.
Max Brooks
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I wrote 'The Zombie Survival Guide' because I wanted to read it, and nobody else was writing it. All I've been doing with everything I've written is answering questions that I had.
Max Brooks
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I wanted to serve. It was Desert Storm. I thought, 'I was a rich kid, and America's been good to me.
Max Brooks
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Remember no matter how desperate the situation seems, time spent thinking clearly is never time wasted.
Max Brooks
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With so much protection, wouldn't one be able to wander among the undead ranks, taunting them at will with no danger of repercussion?
Max Brooks
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That's the thing about zombies. They don't adapt and they don't think. Literally, you could have a zombie on one side of a chain link fence and you could be on the other side and they could be trying to get to you and six feet down could be an open door and they will not go through that door in the fence. That's why they're so scary.
Max Brooks
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After all we'd been through, we still couldn't take our heads from out of our asses or our hands from around each other's throats.
Max Brooks
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Zombies will try to scale any surface no matter how unfeasable or even impossible. In all but the easiest situations, these attempts have met with failure. Even in the case of ladders, when simple hand-over-hand coordination is required, only one in four zombies will succeed.
Max Brooks
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The bottom line is I'm a slow zombie guy - I'm always a slow zombie guy but I also know I'm in the minority.
Max Brooks
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I actually wrote my first zombie book way before I got the job on 'Saturday Night Live.
Max Brooks
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There comes a point when you have to realize that the sum of all your blood, sweat, and tears will ultimately amount to zero.
Max Brooks
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Looking back, I still can't believe how unprofessional the news media was. So much spin, so few hard facts. All those digestible sound bites from an army of 'experts' all contradicting one another, all trying to seem more 'shocking' and 'in-depth' than the last one. It was all so confusing, nobody seemed to know what to do.
Max Brooks
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Fear is the most basic emotion we have. Fear is primal. Fear sells.
Max Brooks
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[...]you don’t have to be Sun freakin Tzu to know that real fighting isn’t about killing or even hurting the other guy, it’s about scaring him enough to call it a day.
Max Brooks
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I think the general anxiety of the 1960s - '70s spawned our interest in the living dead. When people worry about the end of their world, they need a safe vessel for all their fears. Zombies provide that vessel because they're 'safe.
Max Brooks