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Whatever bro, tell it to the whales

Max Brooks

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Max Brooks
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: May 22
Author
Comedian
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Maximillian Michael Brooks
Tell
Bros
Whales
Whatever

More quotes by Max Brooks

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Fear is the most valuable commodity in the universe.
Max Brooks
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Americans worship technology. It's an inherent trait in the national zeitgeist.
Max Brooks
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Often, a school is your best bet-perhaps not for education but certainly for protection from an undead attack.
Max Brooks
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Looking back, I still can't believe how unprofessional the news media was. So much spin, so few hard facts. All those digestible sound bites from an army of 'experts' all contradicting one another, all trying to seem more 'shocking' and 'in-depth' than the last one. It was all so confusing, nobody seemed to know what to do.
Max Brooks
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. . . show the other side, the one that gets people out of bed the next morning, makes them scratch and scrape and fight for their lives because someone is telling them that they're going to be okay.
Max Brooks
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I think Americans are at our best when we recover from a crisis. We've suffered some blows that other countries would have never recovered from.
Max Brooks
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Can you ever “solve” poverty? Can you ever “solve” crime? Can you ever “solve” disease, unemployment, war, or any other societal herpes? Hell no.
Max Brooks
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Fear is the most valuable commodity in the universe...Turn on the TV...What are you seeing? People selling their products? No. People selling the fear of you having to live without their products.
Max Brooks
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Zombies are apocalyptic in nature. They belong to a class of monster that doesn't just hunt humans, but seeks to obliterate that entire human race.
Max Brooks
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I actually wrote my first zombie book way before I got the job on 'Saturday Night Live.
Max Brooks
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But no matter what happens to the surviving humans, there will always be the walking dead.
Max Brooks
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Of all the weapons discussed in this book, nothing is more important than your primary firearm. Keep it cleaned, keep it oiled, keep it loaded, keep it close. With a cool head, steady hand, and plenty of ammunition, one human is more than a match for an army of zombies.
Max Brooks
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Looking for love on the internet is like Janet Leigh asking Norman Bates if he likes her body.
Max Brooks
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They say great times make great men. I don't buy it. I saw a lot of weakness, a lot of filth. People who should have risen to the challenge and either couldn't or wouldn't. Greed, fear, stupidity and hate. I saw it before the war, I see it today. [...] I don't know if great times make great men, but I know they can kill them.
Max Brooks
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Hooking on scuba gear and blindly diving into zombie-infested water is a wonderful way to mix the two childhood terrors of being eaten and drowning.
Max Brooks
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After all we'd been through, we still couldn't take our heads from out of our asses or our hands from around each other's throats.
Max Brooks
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That's the thing about zombies. They don't adapt and they don't think. Literally, you could have a zombie on one side of a chain link fence and you could be on the other side and they could be trying to get to you and six feet down could be an open door and they will not go through that door in the fence. That's why they're so scary.
Max Brooks
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Since 2001, people have been scared. There's been some really scary stuff that's been happening - 9/11, Iraq, Afghanistan, Katrina, anthrax letters, D.C. sniper, global warming, global financial meltdown, bird flu, swine flu, SARS. I think people really feel like the system's breaking down.
Max Brooks
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With so much protection, wouldn't one be able to wander among the undead ranks, taunting them at will with no danger of repercussion?
Max Brooks
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...because I'm sure that as soon as things really get back to normal, once our kids or grandkids grow up in a peaceful and comfortable world, they'll probably go right back to being as selfish and narrow-minded and generally shitty to one another as we were.
Max Brooks