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When I worked in theater, I was always writing things on Post-it Notes and sticking them on screens or desks. Twitter has given me a way of continuing to post those notes, only a lot of other people see them, too.

Maureen Johnson

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Maureen Johnson
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: February 16
Author
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Worked
Sticking
Theater
Desks
Given
Twitter
Writing
Continuing
Way
Post
Always
Posts
Things
Screens
People
Notes

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This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.
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I feel warm and reassured, I whispered. He's like Santa.
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No sausage? he asked. Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.
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Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the fish for me.
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One of them hung a pink bra from our lighting fixture. I left it there. It was a nice bra
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Sometimes I even felt like he dated me as part of his plan, like they were going to have a checklist on the application, and one of the things to tick off was going to be, Do you have a reasonably intelligent girlfriend who shares your aspirations, and who is fully prepared to accept your limited availability?
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Do you ever sing in the car? Generally not. But I am driving a police car. I think people would like a singing policeman. Makes life seem more like a musical. Like Foot-tastic. You can talk for a long time about nothing. I certainly can, you charming man!
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Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.
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I could pretend, at least, and if I pretended long enough, maybe I could make it into a reality.
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I am a mass of contradictions.
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Just then, my phone started ringing. The ring must have been damaged by the water as well, so now it had a high, keening note - kind of the sound I imagine a mermaid might make if you punched her in the face.
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Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!
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The truth was that she had managed to betray everyone by doing nothing. No one in history had ever done less and yet been so wrong. Not cheating on a non-boyfriend with the non-boyfriend of a friend. The pressure of thinking that one through made her swollen body ache.
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It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.
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I still have a whopping bad case of what you call scag magnetism. I thought i had gotten rid of it there, but it looks like scary guys still materialize from thin air in my presence. They are drawn to me. I am the North Pole, and they are the explorers of love.
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Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be.
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The kids I talk to are readers, and the craziest, the most dedicated readers you will ever see.
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What tinfoil? he asked.
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Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
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Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart
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